From Breakdown to Breakthrough: How Art Helped me find Strength & Healing

In the 90’s, I had a complete mental breakdown. My mind and body just simply said “enough” and refused to go being stretched to the limits. I was a working mom of 4, hockey coach, hockey administrator, cadet administrator, and generally the one who could be counted on for every school, hockey, or cadet function. My husband worked away from home most of the time. I ran my own accounting business. I burned the midnight oil to meet deadlines, often running on just a few hours sleep each night. Then one morning, I couldn’t get out of bed.

Long story short, after several debilitating months of experiments with antidepressants and counsellors that did not work, I had to step back from the hectic, turbulent nature of my lifestyle. I resigned from all the committees, closed my business, and started walking with the dog. After a while, I started coming back to life and noticed the beauty around me. I took up decorative painting and crafting. Then one day I saw a magazine article about Robert Bateman and I was struck dumb by his paintings. I wanted to do this! So, I went to the local art store and bought paints and canvasses and started learning to paint.

Life has a way of throwing you curveballs, and of course, another came my way. This one resulted in me having to return to work, and the painting had to wait. There was simply no time for painting between my work schedule and what was happening with my family. When it was all settled again and I could breathe, I was ill. Fibromyalgia and MS was the diagnosis, likely brought on by the abuse of my childhood and the desire to be the superhuman who could deal with anything and everything. So, once again, I had to stop working. My husband started working locally, the children grew up and moved away and once again, I picked up my brushes.

Learning to paint without the access to workshops is not easy! I bought books and watched all the painting shows I could find on PBS. I learned the basics. Eventually I found YouTube. This was my savior! Chuck Black was my first guide, Andrew Tischler became my guru. Jason Morgan taught me how to use pastels. Eric Rhoads introduced me to so many others. I am now a member of several art groups and enjoy hearing the stories of the artists who have all had their own struggles. We share our art and help each other with the issues we are facing with our artwork and lives. We celebrate successes together and commiserate over failures.

All the pain and anguish of my life leaves my mind as I put the paint on the canvas. My favorite subjects are large animals who have strength. Bears, tigers, lions, moose, elk, etc. Art therapy is real! It calms the soul. Art gets out all the inner demons and gives me a reason to wake up smiling each morning.

If my story resonates with you and I could serve you in any way, reach out to me by email creakyeasel@gmail.com to discuss it further.